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Parents and Teachers: We’ve got to stick together!

Parents and Teachers we have got to stick together

Parents and Teachers: We’ve got to stick together!

Nobody knows more about the heart work and hard work of raising
children and what they need, than parents and teachers.  That’s why we belong together and now more than ever!

There’s a lot of talk in the news and on social media about the importance of family as well as the consequences of not providing a quality education.  The opinions and advice are varied and plentiful, but have a pitifully low amount of action behind them.  Parents and teachers don’t have time for the rhetoric, we’re too busy rolling up our sleeves trying to make the best out of a horrific situation and saving our babies.

For too long, parents and teachers have been undervalued and without the supports in place to provide all that children need.  We have been expected to make miracles and from the way I see it, we have.  Teachers are doing their very best to meet the ever increasing academic, social and emotional needs of children as funding has decreased and criticism increases.  Parents desire time with their children and have a vision for their family, but lack support like affordable quality daycare, accessible community health and mental health services and an equitable education system.

Parents and teachers are getting close to raising the surrender flag. The miracle workers have been depleted. This time around, we are fresh out of miracles.  Something’s got to give!

Ah, but there is a solution!  How about parents and teachers all get in the boat and row in the same direction. Let’s stop scapegoating each other and use our collective voice for children. Can you imagine what a powerful force we can be?  Together we can be the biggest and brightest lobbying group for children.

Hey, we’ve never gotten this much attention, EVER!  
Parents and teachers are on the national news every day. Let’s use it to our advantage. 

Here are a few things you can do:

Schools – Commit to frequent and transparent communication with school staff, families and community.  Keep it simple but yet comprehensive. They won’t know the full extent of the dilemma you are facing if you aren’t vulnerable and tell them.  Provide a crash course for school staff, parents and community on funding and mandates.  Don’t assume that everyone understands how education is funded, the mandates that are attached, and the harm to students when funding decreases.  Equally important is how decreases in funding is related to having and maintaining the necessary support services that directly effect students. Lay all the cards on the table, and then ask for help.  Make sure everyone knows ways they can take action to support their school and community. 

Parents – If there isn’t already a parent group, consider forming one.  If there is, make sure parents needs are heard and there is someone monitoring and reporting on legislative issues regarding families, children and education.  One call to community, state and federal officials and legislators makes a difference but it’s impact is greater when it comes from a group of parents with a direct and strong ask.  Call your school superintendent with any questions you have about education and services for students.  Ask what they need and how you can help.  Once you understand the situation, share the information through social media.  Let’s stop talking about the problems and get talking about the solution.  Enlist the support of community organizations and city officials and build a community coalition for children.  Schools can’t do it alone and families need more than education for their children.  They need quality affordable childcare, health and mental health services and you can fill in the rest.

I know this is a scary time, but as my favorite principal Mrs. Goetz says, “this is not our forever” and it isn’t.  But while all eyes are on us, let’s use this attention as a bargaining chip so that our children’s future days will be brighter, better and more promising than ever before.

Barbara Flis, Founder Parent Action for Healthy Kids

I am a mother, a Barbie to my granddaughters, lover of family and teachers.  I attribute any success I have had in life to family and teachers…what goes around, comes around!  #ValueFamilies

Blog Post Parent Action for Healthy Collage Collage of Educational Photo

Parents, I trust you!


Right now there is a barrage of information on the topic of returning to school. Some of it appears to be well-intended, helpful information while some of it self-serving and even divisive. Because it’s about the well-being of our kids, the emotional charge of it can get us off balance and cause us to doubt ourselves and our ability to make the right decision for our children.  Don’t bite the emotional hook, you know what’s best for your kids.  For the last forty years I have been a parent, I hang with parents and I advocate for parents.  I trust you, you are my people, believe me when I say, you’ve got this!

My decades of work have been at all levels (local, state and federal).  What I have seen time and time again is that the people in the community are the experts.  They know best what they need, and they have skin in the game.  So trust yourself and trust the power of community.  These are your people.  

Let me give you a great example.  Dr. Mona Hanna-Attisha, the pediatrician, professor, and public health advocate whose research exposed the Flint, Michigan water crisis; why did she take the time to review all of her patients cases, collect data and stick with it in the face of government officials who tried to discredit her?  Because she trusted herself, cared about the children in her practice and in the community.  She was part of the community, she had skin in the game.

If you doubt your ability, let me take you back to earlier this year when schools shut down due to Covid-19.  Parents and teachers did an extraordinary job pivoting.  At first we were under the impression it would be only a few weeks, then weeks turned into months, but together parents and teachers did it. It was remarkable to see the compassion parents and teachers showed for one another.  It would be a shame to slow the momentum of building those important relationships that are proven to benefit kids so much.  

Whenever you’re feeling emotionally triggered, I encourage you to hit the pause button.  Acknowledge the emotions, they will only last a few minutes.  Then look for your people, the ones who have skin in the game.  Most importantly, take care of yourself, your kids need you!

We all need a Mother right now!

When my first child was born, my mother hand-made a pillow with this cross-stitched verse;

Cooking and cleaning can wait till tomorrow
For babies grow up we’ve learned to our sorrow,
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep,
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep!

There’s just no escaping the nurturing feeling one experiences when reading this verse.  When we’re most troubled, especially when feeling alone or abandoned, we instinctually yearn for a Mother’s nurturing which embodies unconditional love, connection, reassurance, counsel and safety.

This year, we are all in need of the arms of a loving Mother who will comfort us. And feel in the embrace of her loving arms the gift of grace to understand, accept and look for the meaning in the present moment.

This Mother’s Day, we have the freedom to pay homage to all Mothers past and present and to those who may not officially hold the title, but who nurture and protect.  We can do this by living in a place of grace and extending open arms of love to everyone.  The collective energy of living in this place of grace will shower love and nurturing across the globe.  We can do this because every moment is precious and “our babies don’t keep!”.  

Happy Mother’s Day!

Homework Assignment: Find a teacher and say thank you!

Yes, go find one, right now. It can be your kids teacher, your former teacher, a relative, friend or neighbor who’s a teacher. Track them down and thank them for what they do. It’s hard to understand why it took a pandemic to get everyone to notice what a daunting profession teaching is. Perhaps a better word would be “vocation,” a calling.  As parents who were thrust into homeschooling will agree, not everyone can be a teacher.  The task could bring a Wall Street executive to his/her knees faster than a recession.  One can only hope during Teacher Appreciation Week, you will reflect on the enormity of impact that teachers past and present have had.  They are the original essential workers.  Every essential worker today, from hospital, EMS, law enforcement, service industry, researchers and scientists, economists, local, state and federal government, everyone, all got to where they are because of the original essential worker, the teacher.

Your assignment is due this week May 4-8, extra credit if you say thank you on Teacher Appreciation Day, Tuesday, May 5, 2020.

This Easter, let’s pretend!

 

 

For the sake of our children, let’s pretend.  Let’s pretend the Easter Bunny is real, and just for Easter Day, lets allow ourselves to pretend there is no Coronavirus.  We can do this for our children as well as for our own sanity.  If you haven’t gone to the land of pretend in a while, I beg you to give it a try.  In Latin it’s “praetendere” which translates to “stretch forth, claim.”  When we let go of the fear, our brain can think outside of the box, imagine and pretend. 

Hey, even Governor Whitmer of Michigan says the tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny are essential workers so why not give pretending a try?

I am not a writer of poetry, however, a couple of years ago I felt compelled to write this poem about being a child at play.  I guess I needed to connect to the child in me.  This holiday, we can allow our children to be our teachers and take us back to the land of pretend.  Play is what we all need right now.

Just for today…by Barb Flis

Just for today let me be a child at play
Fresh from a dream filled sleep 

Waking up with a smile
Overflowing with a joy that is mine to keep

Just for today let me be a child at play
Persistently questioning all that I see

Taking nourishment in the wonder
Shameless about my curiosity

Just for today let me be a child at play
Fearless about opening my heart

Heaping love on to others
With an absence of malice if they depart

Just for today let me be a child at play
Where no rush hour ever exists

A giggle in between every word I speak
Demanding more laughter is what I’ll insist

Just for today let me be a child at play
And in exchange I guarantee

Play will be my nourishment
To make sure I never forsake that child in me.

Parents, I’m Proud of You!

 

 

Yes, you!  I’m proud of you! Being proud of someone is the same as a trillion “likes” on social media.  That’s how proud I am of you.  More importantly, I hope you’re proud of yourself. I have yet to find a YouTube video for parents on how to juggle work, entertain and homeschool kids, manage extended family needs, and figure out how to stay afloat financially while maintaining sanity during a pandemic.  Don’t worry, you’ve got this.  You’re doing a great job, your children are in tender and loving hands.

There is no hierarchy based on who has it worse.  Parenting is a level playing field and parents; you get to wear a badge of pride, not only during a pandemic but every day.  Parenting is heart work and hard work.  While we are in a time that requires “social distancing” it does not mandate isolation. For far too long parents have felt invisible, not seen and not understood.  Parenting during “normal” times is a lonely endeavor. Now more than ever, parents would benefit from others support as well as the support of each other. 

Do you realize that the world is looking at you through fresh eyes and wondering how many more hats you can possibly wear?  They are becoming more curious about you and your life.  Whenever I get more curious than afraid, I find myself in awe and amazement at how well and creatively you forge through.  Seize this moment! Open your heart and be vulnerable.  Share your story of family life not only in the times of this pandemic but your everyday life pre-coronavirus.  In normal times, raising a family was hard but now it’s daunting.  Take comfort in the fact that you are not alone.  We are all responsible for building a stronger future for our children.  We’re in this together and I’m proud of you!

 

Adventures in Homeschooling!

 

 

Parents are being bombarded right now with tips and resources from school, educational organizations, parent groups and even grandma/grandpa.  While these are very well intended and useful, parents are feeling overwhelmed and pressured to continue the classroom in their home. And when they aren’t pulling off a well-structured day of “classroom” learning, while trying to “work from home,” a whole range of emotions emerge from frustration to feelings of inadequacy as a parent. Ugg, even shame creeps in!

In unprecedented times like this, the wisest thing to do is keep it simple.  If you are a classroom teacher, then be a classroom teacher and if you are a parent, then be a parent.  The lessons learned in the classroom and the lessons learned at home are equally important and have profound affects for our children’s future.  One way of learning is temporarily stalled, and that’s unfortunate.  However, in a weird turn of events, that loss can be a huge gain for children and families.  Families have a choice.  They can keep trying to be something they are not, or they can do what they know and be a family.  Look at this as an adventurous vacation – family time that is a roller coaster ride full of fun, a little scary at times and when its over a lifetime of great memories of being with family.  This I know for sure, love transcends fear every time!  

Teachers are feeling the love!

 

 

I am hearing from teachers and seeing posts of letters and pictures from students telling teachers how much they are loved and missed.  I guarantee you, the love is reciprocal.  Teachers are worried about their students and their families.  They are concerned whether their students will be able to keep up the progress they have made, and if they are anxious  because of ever present discussions and fear.  Teachers are concerned about how students are doing with a change in routine and how families are going to manage it all.  They are especially concerned for their students with trauma and other special needs.  

Here’s what I want to say to teachers, THANK YOU!  Thank you for all that you do, thank you for caring. Now, please take this time to rest and have some fun!  I’ll let you in on a little secret…It’s okay to be happy.  Does that sound odd or somehow not right? Being happy and being concerned about your students and their families are not mutually exclusive.  It’s okay to put the worry aside, take time to rest, have fun, enjoy your family, linger over a cup of coffee, take more than ten minutes to eat a meal, heck throw caution to the wind and go to the bathroom as often as you like!  These are all acts of love to yourself and when school is back in session your students will be all the better for it.  

We are socialized to think that when there is suffering, a crisis or tragedy, we feel selfish if we take care of ourselves.  There is this either or thinking that says, “This is serious, I have to be worried, I’m not allowed to be happy”.  Yes, it is serious, but you are allowed to be happy, in fact it will ease your worry and be a great model for others.  If there was ever a time to practice self-love, this is it.  From what I see, your students are showing you lots of love, the least you could do is believe you deserve it!

#ValueFamilies  #PublicHealth  
#TeachersRock